Omni-mom reflections

Hmmmmmmmmmm. (Deep contented sigh)

To answer the question "How are things going with the pump?"

I have to say, it's kind of freakin' awesome.

I didn't realize how tense I still was a lot of the time, until I started to relax a little with the pump. I didn't realize I was having a subconscious reaction to grabbing my bag of syringes every time I left the house, until all I had to grab was a nifty little remote control device (PDM-Personal Diabetes Manager). It's small! It's a gadget! I can give him insulin while he sits munching popcorn in the cart at Target, just like all the other kids! - (and I don't have to have him pull his pants down in the bedding aisle, to give him a shot for the carbs, without going alllll the way back to the bathrooms to do it!) When he needs insulin, I just point the remote control in the direction of Logan, and press a few buttons, and 'beeeep'.. that is it........... :)

When we were giving Logan injections, there must have been an unspoken sense of him being a "patient", curiously- it didn't register with me until it went away. This is also probably why we chose the pump with no tubing, the hospital tubing necessary with a conventional insulin pump, always looked "patient-ish" to me.

Okay, yes. I have hospital issues, and IV issues, and, well, issues in general.

So for an issue ridden needle phobic mom of a diabetic, I have been handed a huge gift in the form of a small pod and a remote control. The best part is, not only is this the best choice for Logan's long term care being much much better, but also, the unexpected freedom of getting back the "vibe" our family used to have, before Logan "caught Diabetes" as he sometimes says.

We don't have to tense up, in case he tries to wiggle out of a shot.

We don't have to offer the choice of a snack with a shot, or making him wait till mealtimes, so he only got three shots a day (minimum).

We don't have to hear him cry "you are HURTING me" or quickly cover up a site that unexpectedly starts bleeding, because we hit a tiny capillary. (this freaked him out).

We don't carry bags and bags of needles.

We don't have to carry insulin around.

Strangely, one of my most favorite things we DON'T have anymore, is...
We don't find needle caps all over the house.
Slowly they have become less of our "regular mess", until I found one when I moved the TV in the rec room and it startled me.
A little orange, plastic cap for a syringe.

When we were giving Logan injections, these little caps were always all over, partly because the act of giving the shot was distracting, and the little cap would often fall behind or under something. Also the boys collected them in different containers, and sometimes used them in hot glue projects, etc. When I used to find one (or two or five) in my sweeping pile, it would give me a little twinge of regret, or sadness- I'm not totally sure of the exact feeling, but it stung.

Now, it's presence is moving out of my day to day life-
THAT makes me happy.

I called our Omnipod rep and our Pump Nurse, and thanked them for all their tireless help, dedication, and support. I like to spread the word when things are good, and these peoples jobs are pretty intense- a good report is what they wait for, I imagine.

Anne, Logan's Nurse said to me "This is so gratifying to hear, it makes it allllll worth it."

I don't even know if I can express what this means to us, emotionally.. that so much of what we "lost" as a family, was a feeling of "okayness". Now, I see and feel the old and wonderful feeling, rising around us more every day. I have actually had some moments of pure glee, feeling the old "us" back in action.

Now of course, it's not all wine and roses, but I will save our challenges for another day- today I just want to bask a little in the feelings of goodness.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmahh.