Our adventures in the land of "Di-ba-lee-teez": Happy Anniversary?

Here we are on the eve of our three month Diabetes anniversary.. it was July 31st that I took Logan to the Pediatrician to see if he had a bladder infection.. and ended up with our diagnosis of the D. It feels like a year ago, at least.
The good news is, I am gradually feeling better, and I am not letting daily swings in Logan's mood affect mine. I think I have grown an extra layer of skin, much tougher that the one that I had before! Maybe it's more like armor, but it's working for me. Even if Logan screams, cries, begs, or hides.. I don't dissolve into tears anymore- I just set my mind on the thought "I love you, and so I WILL be giving you this shot, happily or not." This gets me through it. And he is fine, immediately afterwards, so it's very gratifying not to have to go up and down the roller coaster of emotions so many times per day. It's well documented what a softy I am, some may even call me a chicken-weenie. BUT! No more.. I have found a shard of my personality that is tough as nails, faster than lightning, it's a bird, it's a .. plane.. it's........... SUPER MOMMY!!
I get the job done.
I was reading in my affirmation/meditation book this morning about "acceptance"... it's such a big concept. It's hard to get there when the thing that you have to accept is something that breaks your heart. The way I look at it is, I don't have to love diabetes, but I have to accept it as my new reality. The more I try to pretend that it will go away, be cured tomorrow, or not affect us, the longer this process takes. Here is my current inventory of my reality, as of 8am.

I have three amazing, strong, intelligent, healthy boys- one of whom has Type 1 Diabetes.

There is a 50% chance that another of my sons, Gray, will be diagnosed with Type 1 before he is an adult.

I have somehow lucked into finding and keeping a marriage that feeds my very soul.

My partner is someone I not only admire, respect, and like, but I am silly in love with him.

I have a beautiful, cozy home with a great yard that keeps me up to my ears in fun hobbies and ideas as we renovate, upgrade, and change it.

I have a family (my parents, parents in law, brother, Grandma, cousins) that has shown me in no uncertain terms that I am loved, cherished, thought about, appreciated, and cared for.

I have somehow managed to gather to myself the most unique and beautiful group of friends- funny, creative, strong, loving, real, and generous souls- all of them. It is my connection with them that I have become profoundly grateful for.

On that note, a lesson I have been learning, is how to recieve.

I am a GIVER. I like to HELP OTHERS. I like to make people happy, and feel special and loved, and until recently, I have not been too adept at letting others do the same for me.. but my friends are a force to be reckoned with in terms of their love.

And the best part for me, is I am learning not to discount the care and love put into their effors just because it is aimed at ME. Usually, I find a way to say.. "Well, they dropped off those flowers because they didn't want them to go to waste" or "Oh, maybe they were weeding! That was thoughtful!"

But not until verrrrry recently, have I been able to SEE and then FEEL the love, that is coming straight for ME.

Now I see the flowers, but the amazing part is, I feel "Wow, they sure love me, and thought of me today. I bet they just want to let me know I am cared for, and that I am on thier minds."

(Yes, our neighbors and my "2nd Parents" Sharon and Keith Lindaas dropped off three huge bunches of flowers for us when we were not home, a few days ago!)

I guess what I am trying to say is- this change is a good one, and I am grateful for the opportunity to learn it, even if it is taking the D to do it.

I have gotten calls at the right time, funny emails that lift my mood, invitations to hang out or go out, thoughtful emails, and all of it together- has created such a difference in how I am experiencing this time in my life. I know, I get all mushy and long winded when it comes to my friends and family, but geez! Maybe it's a "40" thing, but I see around me a family of people that are drawn together by our joy and our pain- and I am downright grateful for each one of you.(snif, snif!) Ahem! So, now new news on the Loganator forefront...

I have signed us up for our first step (a class at Children's) on how to qualify for an insulin pump for Logan! In a nutshell, it boils down to not having to give him shots anymore, and more freedom with eating, going out, etc. I actually sent away for a "free trial" of the newest version of the pump, the Omni-pod, which I am now wearing a non working version of on my own arm, to see how it feels.

Omnipod is the only "tubing free" pump out there.. it is operated by a remote "PDM" (personal diabetes manager) so all I have to do is stand near Logan, and push some buttons.. !

The PDM also doubles as a BGM (Blood Glucose Monitor) so we put a strip in it, get a dot of blood, and his blood sugar is recorded in the device. We tell the device how many carbs he is about to eat, and it gives suggestions on how much insulin to give.

Since it is a bit hard to explain, those of you who are curious, can check it out here:

http://www.myomnipod.com/products/section/189/

There are little videos that show how it works, how to put it on, take it off, etc. It's pretty amazing!

I am doing lots of research (it's kind of like Immersion therapy..) into different pump systems, but I do have two favorites, the Omnipod, and the Ping. The Ping is basically the most up to date pump that still requires tubing between where it goes into your skin, and where the insulin is stored in the device. It also uses a remote, but you can decide to deliver the insulin by remote (up to 10 feet away!) OR by pushing buttons on the device, which clips onto your belt.

Here is the site for the Ping: http://www.animascorp.com/

I have no idea if we can afford these, or if we will qualify, or how any of it works, but you can bet I will put my newfound toughness into fighting for what I WANT FOR LOGAN!

I've heard there is a lot of fighting with your insurance company to prove you need it, because a pump runs about $6k or so.. and sometimes they don't approve them, or certain models, or ?

I will fight that battle as it comes.

Halloween was a blast- we had a great day, first breakfast with my parents (and their cousins) and then off to the Reptile Zoo with Sherri and some of her friends. The kids held snakes!!

Then after a long and wonderful playdate at Sherri's we came back home to Trick or Treat!

Logan looks a bit impatient.. our camera did not want to work, so he was standing there for over 3 minutes.. waiting for it.. ha ha. Gray has no problem mugging for long periods of time, however. Logan chose to be a Wizard.. and Gray was a Bird!

We finished off the night with candy (and the accompanying insulin) and lots of happy silliness.